6 Steps for Taming Your Fear and Uncovering Your Courage

by | May 24, 2017 | Courage, Easy Legal Steps Bestselling Book

Scott and I have returned from Centre Stage Live and my terrifying TED-like talk (more on that in a sec!) and some much needed R&R time in gorgeous Alberta and Glacier National Park! We spent our days horseback riding through the gorgeous snow-covered mountains, enjoying blue-green lake water and watching sheep (and deer) hang out in town next to our hotel. Seriously. For real. #rockymountainhigh #naturesbeauty #naturalliving #lovecanada #nobeachforme 

This year has tested my courage big-time.

In March, I launched my new website that was 2 ½ years in the making.

In April, I released my book, Easy Legal Steps…That Are Also Good For Your Soul which took a full year to write and publish and hours and hours of typing, editing and tweaking on my laptop.

Last week I attended Chantelle Adams’ Center Stage Live event and gave a “TED-like” memorized talk to a live audience…and it was being videotaped.

A new website. A book. A videotaped talk from memory. Talk about terrifying. Seriously.

5 years ago any of these events alone would have left me running for the hills. And to do all three of them in 3 short months? Crazy.

My talk was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. No joke. Knowing that it had to be memorized and that it would be recorded was enough to make me want to vomit. I’m normally comfortable speaking on stage. But with no notes, no powerpoints, no crutches…it felt really hard.

I kept thinking “WHY do I challenge myself to do these things like write a book and give a TED-like memorized talk? WHY? WHY??!”

All I know is that every time I tuned into my intuition, I knew I had to do it. I couldn’t let fear get the best of me.

So I practiced that speech for hours. Twice a day for about 3 weeks. Pacing in my office. On my daily runs. In front of my husband. Even in my infrared sauna. (A scary thought, I know!)  

I was the first speaker on the agenda at the conference (can you imagine?) But, I took a deep breath, walked onto that stage, mustered the courage and I did it.

How did I summon the courage?

Well, I have a number of tools in my “courage toolbox” that I talk about in Chapter 4 of Easy Legal Stepsstarting on page 130. Here are the 6 ways that have worked for me that might help you too:

    1. Remember that Fear is a façade. Fear is like the Wizard in The Wizard of Oz before the curtain was pulled back to reveal an old man in a green coat creating a false reality with a bunch of gadgets and smoke machines. Having a visual representation of Fear as a little old man at the end of the Yellow Brick Road helps to separate the Fear from you — because you are not your Fear. Remember, Fear is just a smokescreen.

 

    1. Choose courage. When your Ego is raising its voice, remember your Ego draws on your old conditioning, patterning, stories, beliefs and practices that kept you alive in the past and uses them to try to keep you safe now. When you understand that the Ego is aligned with the past and courage is aligned with your future, you can choose to align your thoughts and energy with your courage, not your Fear.

 

    1. Be gentle with yourself. When you’re afraid, have compassion for the part of you that’s scared. Be gentle with yourself, like you would with a child who is afraid of the monster under the bed. Don’t beat yourself up for being scared. Extend kindness, like you would to a friend or client who was hurting, and be gentle, kind, and loving with yourself.

 

    1. Give yourself permission. Give yourself permission to not be perfect, to look and feel uncomfortable, to give it your best shot and remember that “done is better than perfect.” Remember me and my video experience. Cut yourself some slack and just do it.

 

    1. Get support. Get the support that you need to move forward. Invest in yourself and your business to do it. Hire a video coach. Buy the equipment. Find a stylist. Support yourself with coaches and spiritual healers. When you get the training, education, certification, equipment, processes, and structure you need to do what scares you, you can stretch yourself to grow. Get exactly what you need so you can get out of your own way.

 

  1. Take baby steps. Take the tiniest baby step towards what you want. You WILL be scared. You WILL feel nervous. You WILL feel uncomfortable. If it’s new, it’s part of the deal. Feel the fear and do it anyway — even in small, baby steps. Because when you take just one small step, it opens the door to the next step …and the next…and the next.

Courage is like a muscle. It needs to be flexed.

My courage muscle is pooped. I feel like I’ve flexed enough to last me the rest of the year. But I am sure that something else will pique my interest and I’ll challenge myself to stretch even more.

Heaven knows if I can use these tools to summon my courage to keep challenging myself to do things I NEVER thought I would ever do like write a book or give a memorized talk from the stage, I really believe that you can too.

Here’s to summoning our deepest courage and flexing those muscles!

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Kelly Covert interviewed me for the “In Her Voice” podcast, Listen to find balance between being practical and aligning with our soul’s calling here.

Lisa Fraley, JD

Holistic Lawyer®, Legal Coach®, Speaker & Author

Lisa Fraley Legal Coach LLC

lisafraley.com

Lisa Fraley, JD

Holistic Lawyer®, Legal Coach®, Speaker & Author

Lisa Fraley Legal Coach LLC lisafraley.com

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